What they don’t tell you about grief.
Did they tell you anything?
Funerals were mute on what now with their innocuous sandwiches, reminiscences
from the pulpit, rhetoric-coloured memories, embalmed flowers.
Perhaps then a small moment of weeping.
And after, the weeks, months and so on?
What they don’t tell you about grief is almost everything.
There are no packaged stages; no set timelines.
In that doubled darkness – the loss, this silence – you continue your piecework
of a life – most do at least – and the years are supposed to pass into forgetful
happiness – O yes, they tell us this – that “time heals all wounds” – a lie
of course, not that it gets worse, harder, but in some way no one shares with you,
it does – there is no protection from forever after awhile – and so every day
starts with that sad, hungry gong – gone always, always gone – there is no
consolation for this – the grey light begins and with it,
what they did not tell you about grief.