Photo #1 is raw. It has a toilet in it & a copy of Lisa Moore’s Alligator that I’m re-reading. I wanted the picture to present myself in seemingly two stances at once: a face somewhat bored, mired in its flirtatious habits perhaps, turning away from the body engaged in the act of physical representation, showing off parts of legs, awkwardly hoping for transcendence, only hair on top of a structure of dark clothes, posing. Detached; connected. That ineffable binary.
Photo #2 is the same photo but I cropped out the signifiers of space. Then I fiddled with shadows, brightness, contrast and grain until I got a fuzzier, speckled, gritty look. I diminished the obvious parameters of the mirror so the figure could be in another room, a picture, not immediately seen as a reflection. Scribbles on the plastic shower curtain blur. The face looking away is now larger, and the expression more prominent: she is growing weary of the routine of self-fascinations but has entrenched herself in aesthetic conundrums that bind her at times. What is any of this about, this desire to capture and hold oneself. Her one fist clenches the camera in the intensity of preoccupation. This being has no features and yet the lens must be yearning towards something. Her other hand is placed in a realm of inscribed attractiveness, tense. She is in a private space making public gestures. She is an articulation of boundaries and loss. You see, I have become a she, two of them, neither of them me; that is what art does.